So here I am, down to the home stretch, the last 2 and 1/2 weeks, the last 18 days of work and isolation in Sydney before going back to Indonesia, and its so close its nearly killing me. I told myself 4-5 days ago that I can do this, but now its all changed. I just worked something like 2 weeks straight, and it was starting to get to me. I had a day off due to bad weather to break the stint of non stop work which was revitalizing to the mind and particularly the body. The day off went by quickly and I felt re-energized by it, ready once again to work flat out until my departure at the end of the month. Suddenly this enthusiam came to a screetching halt after a second day off due to foul weather and what looks like a possible week of no work due to the chagne in weather conditons. My current working and living situation in Sydney is very extreme. I don't have many friends here and due to my all encompassing attempts to save money, it keeps me from going out and meeting new people and enjoying myself. Instead of going out after work and having a beer and socializing with people, I am eating my own prepared food from work, taking a shower, and heading off to bed by 9 PM to get up and work the next day. When work is cancelled due to the weather for multiple days, this can become increasingly challenging. I am at a the point where I am so close to leaving I can taste it, yet now I am am not working and waiting around for good enough weather to make money. I find that more time on my hands means more time to think about my impending trip, thus making it even harder to endure the time. I have every right to be excited about the trip that I am about to go on. I have recently been pondering where I will go, and who I will see, and the waves I will surf, and seeing familiar faces along the path. It is so exciting, yet so frustrating that I am in this place where I dont want to be and dont know anyone, in isolation. Yet this is something that I must endure in order to get where I want to be, a necessary means to achieve my goal that most people would only dream of. I know that I should be patient, but this is something that grinds away at me. When I am this isolated from waves, friends, and life, it becomes so much harder. In order to save the money I need for my trip and save a little for future security, I must put my head down and perservere through the hard times. All I can do is think of the good time that will be coming in the near future, and this is what gets me through, yet at the same time acts a means of mental torture. I have actually been considering changing my airplace ticket and leaving 2 weeks early to end my self inflicted torture, yet when I examine the logistics of this, its seems crazy. I have already accomplished so much, and have saved so much. The end is so near, and for me to pull the pin and leave now would mean a few thousand dollars less of savings, let alone an additional thousand dollars spent being in Indonesia ahead of schedule, not to mention the $300 dollars extra spent to change my airline reservation. So once again I had a day off work, but today I spent it on the beach, reading, relaxing, and contemplating my options. I need to find a way to enjoy or accept both sides of my current situation. I need to find a way to enjoy not only the good life in Indonesia, but also the life I live in Australia working and saving. In reality I only have a little over 2 weels left to go, and I would obviously prefer to work and make money during this time, but if thats not possible, then I need to enjoy my days off and be grateful that I'm one more day closer to being back in paradise...
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